Merry Christmas....

Merry Christmas everyone. Christmas eve was a wonderful day for our family. I have never seen any child that loves this holiday more than Faith. Her and Renae have spent countless hours baking, decorating, and planning today's meal. It is not the presents that gets Faith so excited. It is everything; the movies marathons every day, the lights on houses, the decorations throughout the house, and the spirit of Christmas and inviting soldiers to the house for dinner. We were so concerned about the let down today after such a wonderful build to today's climax of opening presents from Santa. But it was not the case, she has transitioned wonderfully. As a matter of fact she has been playing with Tess and Abbi all day. As I set here she is baking in the kitchen with Renae. The sun is out today and it seems just too great of a day, I wish it would not end. I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined how deep, complex, and wonderful relationships between parents and children are when you are the parent. It is so difficult and challenging yet so rewarding on days like this. I was talking to Renae the other day and I said "we are never gonna be far from Faith when she enters into adulthood". She will always need a "safe haven" to be able to come home to. But as we lay exhausted in bed we can only imagine how parents with children they have to take care of for life do it. I sure have met some special and inspiring parents lately. Great days like today make anything life can throw at you worth it. Merry Christmas everyone from the Forchione Family. Kris

Faith baking....

the wrong person exploded this time....

As the few of you that read this have noticed living with someone with a mood disorder is tough on the entire family. What makes it so terribly hard for me is that she got it from me. My mom suffers from a mood disorder, and to be honest I battle my own issues, which going to combat did not help. A dad is suppose to be strong, perfect, and almost like a superhero to their kids. Well, and with no good excuses from this man, I exploded on the entire house the other night. A wise person told me the reason words are so bad is they can NEVER be erased from someone's mind. I have to agree. As much as I try to handle myself I really do have anger issue problems. Well the volcano erupted and I hurt Renae and Faith with some bad words and scary voices. I had to get it out. Sometimes I try to get away but our house is so little you cannot go anywhere inside it without out hearing what is going on. Especially when Faith is having one of her episodes. Everyone goes on the next day like it didn't happen except for Renae of course. Things are not the same after this happens. The hardest part of being a dad and not staying home all day is I do not get to be "the one" for Faith. When she hurts or doesn't feel right she wants her mom, not her dad. Her mom says it is because of the way I explode. It may have something to do with it, even though she does sometimes too, but I know it is because I leave for a year and most of the time am not here. Not only do I hurt because she gets it from me, but as much as all you moms out there think we have it made because the kids do not yell for us or want us when they are hurt, it hurts worse when your child runs past you to get to their mother. I cannot get back the time I am away from them, it is who I am and what I do, but I wish I could switch a button and just give Renae a break. I wish I could set aside my issues I am battling and be a better, more calm, person for the family. I just cannot do it. My job in the Army is in combat arms, it is a part of the military most people do not get to see. I just sometimes have a hard time coming home and shutting off the soldier and putting him away in the closet. Kids with mood disorders are very special. No one understands what they go through, nor will they ever. No one REALLY understands what the family members and especially the primary caretaker goes through. I was talking to our oldest daughter Tess one night when she was really upset at Faith. I said, "you have to be able to take your jab at her and then walk away, your arguments will always end in her exploding into a meltdown if she gets pushed past a certain point, which you like to consistently do". Tess said it is not fair and I agreed with her. It is what it is and it will never change. We just have to be able to help each other out and give each other breaks. That is pretty much impossible for Renae right now. I get to go to work, the girls to school, but she is with Faith 24/7 until we can get her into school again. The girls know I do the best I can, so does Renae, it just takes a long time for her to get over harsh words and actions. It is a good lesson for the kids, you cannot just say or do something and then shout out "I'm sorry". I mean you can, however there will be ripple effects from that rock they just threw into the water for some time following the incident. Kids are great, they bounce back as if something never happened. Moms on the other hand are not. I am again rocking in the ripples caused by a huge rock I threw into the Forchione lake two nights ago. Why does life not give us a "rewind" button? Instead of hindsight, why can't we have forward sight, to help us avoid the stupid things we do? Just don't laugh at me if you see me walking around with a life jacket on and the nearest lake or river is miles away. I am merely just trying to stay afloat because of all the huge swells I create on a daily basis. I am sorry ladies. Kris

A new school?????

Yesterday Renae and Faith spent the morning at the new school. I will have to get the name and post it for you all, as usual I cannot remember it right now. It went as normal, Faith could not get in and then down the halls. The owner of this school, there are only 35 students at present, happened to walk by and without a problem got Faith to the class where she spent the morning having a Christmas Party with the class and meeting all the students in her class. This is a special place no doubt. I have never seen such passionate employees and teachers ever!!! It for sure has Renae thinking of a possible comeback to the teaching profession. Everything is tailored to the students specific needs. Most of their students continue on to college, they have a 25 year history there to prove it. Now we have to hunker down and switch Faith's from a 504 to a IEP(I think that is what it is called) with our school district here on post so that they will pay for her to go there. It should be no problem in the long run, however it can be very daunting to do one of these. Luckily her doctor and the school know a little about them. This school was opened by two teachers who disliked the way children with special needs, at the time ADD and ADHD, were thrown in with all the other students and not given a chance to succeed. We are very excited, as is Faith, which is the reason we do all of this. She wants nothing more than to be in school like all the other kids her age. We have a doctor's appointment today with both her psychiatrist and psychologist, something that is normal at with her new doctor, but impossible before. We have some serious issues to address, transitioning from day to evening (a nightmare in our home), discipline (how far to push it and when), separation anxiety issues (Renae is completely worn out). We are having to take baby steps but so much is happening so fast that it is impossible not to get excited. How crazy it is to go from totally helpless to feeling so helped, if that is a correct way to say it. Things are by no means any easier here at home, however it is a lot better to deal with when you feel like you have the right people in your corner. Amazing how much support can help with any battle. Thanks for all the support from you out there, it is great to hear the kind words and the "thanks" for sharing our story from new friends we meet online around the world. We have ones in Canada and across the Atlantic. I am starting to enjoy being a blogger, I have mentioned to Renae I should do one just on my thoughts, and she has begged me not to (she thinks it would alienate me from most of the world and what few friends I do have). Now that is kinda funny, but probably true, the older I get the more I start pondering, or what I call being a philosopher. But she has agreed to let me write a book during my next deployment, I think it will have to do about things each sex needs to know before marriage, so don't worry all of you will be added to the book tour events as VIPs. Merry Christmas for those who celebrate it and Happy Holidays for those who don't. Kris

OK Monday....

Today was not so bad. I think I am the one who ruined it around 5pm. One of the toughest things with a child with a Mood Disorder is discipline, especially when there are two other children. I had to punish Tess and Faith, Tess for yelling at her sister and Faith for hitting her. It is not possible to discipline them both the same, however I do have to hold them both to the same standard. So I had to either not punish her and be unfair to Tess, not punish both of them, or send her off into a rage. I chose the later, and it was painful for all of us. However after it was all said and done, I spoke with Faith and we both agreed that I have to hold them all up to the same standard, we just have to figure out a way to punish her without it causing a hour long meltdown. I know it will work its way out, but it is just another thing to have to consider when dealing with Mood Disorders. Tomorrow Faith and Renae are going to the potential school and spend the day with Faith's class. I will post how it goes. Kris

Happy Birthday Granpa Tony....

Happy Birthday to Grandpa Tony today...not sure of his age...we lost track once he started getting discounts at McDonalds!!!! haha Hope you have a great day, we know he is, he is down in Georgia with Grandma Linda and Aunt Stephanie and Uncle Scott and the two hoodlums. Kris

Thank you Nana....

I am so glad my mom was able to move down here last month. It was one of the hardest moves I have ever had to do. Renae, me, and my mom moved the entire mobile home ourselves. However difficult it was, yesterday made it so worth it. Renae and I got to go Christmas shopping by ourselves all day for the first time ever. I have to admit it was tiring but lots of fun. I do not normally do well in large crowds,but she drove all day to keep me sane and it was a wonderful time together. Faith had a tough time being at Nana's that time, but she knew how much her mom and I love to be together. All the girls had fun, they spoke about it for a while once we were home. Thanks Nana. Kris

She's right..I don't understand.....

I came home from work early today. The rest of my unit started Christmas block leave...we are not taking any...breaking routine and traveling right now is not an option. Faith and Renae were laying in bed in our room, Faith had a headache. She was getting stressed out because of the headache and refused to let Renae get up from the bed. Why??? I don't know. After about a half hour she was building into a meltdown, I went upstairs and told her to take some medicine to calm her down. She refused, she said she did not want to sleep. The problem is that it is impossible to reason with a 10 year old in the beginning stages of a meltdown. She kept saying " No, you just don't understand". I totally agree with her, I do not understand and will never be able to understand why she would not want to take some Meletonin to help her calm down so she can relax and not go through this horrendous experience. She just would not. I finally got her to take it, by then she was hyperventilating, and flopping around. All of this could have been avoided in my mind, yet in her's it cannot. Why does a headache stress her out so much to turn into this?? Why does she insist that her mom be there listening to her, as if she can help, but knowing she can't? I will never know these answers, I can honestly say I would give anything, and I mean anything to walk in her shoes for a while, or even take this from her and bear it myself. I cannot stand to see such a wonderful, sweet, and caring young child suffer like this. Yet, there is nothing more we can do than what we are doing. It just sucks. What sucks more is people never get to see this part of Mood Disorders. I do not want to share this suffering my child goes through with anyone, nor does she deserve to be embarrassed by someone seeing her in that state. It is like seeing death, the vision just can never be erased from your mind. With that said it is imperative that society just takes our word on it so we never have to share these experiences with them. But I have this feeling it is something we just might have to share one day, maybe just get an entire collection of children going through terrorizing meltdowns, hundreds of them, and making an hour long movie of it. Fuzzy out the faces, and make them experience these children suffering for just one hour. I do not think many of them would make it. So while all of my friends and co-workers are vacationing, I will be going to work and praying that I come home to a happy child who does not have to go through any suffering that day. I do not wish for pity, I just wish for compassion, compassion for these kids that suffer, compassion for their families, compassion from those around them so that they can understand that there is a such thing as a hidden disability. Kris

School tour....

Just left a private alternative school tour that Faith's new doctor highly recommended for her..we met her potential teacher...I can really see this working for her. This is exciting. Kris

Horse Therapy Helps Autistic Boy - YouTube

Horse Therapy Helps Autistic Boy - YouTube



this is a great story...there are so many more out there....amazing stories....

It just happens....

Tuesday evenings we have started a new tradition since my mother has moved to Clarksville. We go over to her house for dinner and to hang out as soon as I get off work. I walked into the house last night at about 5:15 and all was well. As soon as I changed we headed out the door to Nana's house. Once outside the gate of the post Faith just exploded. It was almost impossible for Renae to drive and unbearable for me and Abbi. We had no choice but to turn around. If you can imagine an explosion then multiply it by 10 when we turned around. Faith was not having it, she wanted to go to Nana's. This made no sense but it was what she wanted. It turns out she did not want to let Nana be lonely since she was expecting us. In other words she was feeling like she was the cause of Nana not getting to see any of us, which was true, but not by any means more important than her and how she felt. As a family we have to remember that her emotions are more important than any prior obligations we have. One of the problems associated with Mood Disorders is that they are uncontrollable. That means our entire family has to constantly be flexible. This is one of the hardest things to deal with. It causes immeasurable stress, anxiety, and guilt on Faith. I understand her feelings, I just wish we could figure out a way to let her know it is ok and she does not have to try and hide her emotions, since last night is a perfect example of what will happen. Her little sister Abbi, the youngest of all really does not understand, but I think as she gets older she will. This is another reason people who know anyone with Mood Disorders need to understand that they may be on their way to an event, and if they never show up, it is nothing they can control. Luckily our Nana understands, however I can remember this happening before one of our Army Ball's, we could not leave Faith. I still hear about it today, two years later about not showing up. I just blamed it on my wife not feeling good, since no one will mess with her in person about it. But this is the reality of Mood Disorders. Kris

Big smile...

Faith just loves decorating for the holidays.

Nana's house....

Tess, Faith, and Abigail decorating Nana's Christmas tree.

With friends...

Faith with her friend's dog Cocoa.

New Friends.....

It is amazing how many organizations are out there trying to raise awareness and to assist families like ours. I reach out to them and someone always seems to take personal time to respond to me and offer assistance or at a minimum suggestions. Every Sunday AM I have to take time to respond to multiple emails. This is so exciting. As each week goes by on my mission I start thinking more and more that this is my calling. I never truly enjoyed sales because I was at the beckoning call of clients and it took away from family at the worst times possible. Now I can use my skills learned from that to help families and most importantly children. Meeting people that are passionate to help others is more enjoyable than meeting people that are passionate about themselves. Do not take offense to this if you are, because you are needing help in a place I cannot assist, I am just expressing excitement stating that ten years of my life were not a waste...they just trained me for something bigger and better. I will start posting huge thanks to the organizations that are helping so much. All I ask is that you "like" them or send them a quick note saying "thank you". Each thank you goes a long way to inspiring them to continue to assist. Thanks for reading. Kris

Saturday...

Today was a tough day for Faith. She laid in our bed and watched tv all day. We went out to dinner with Grandpa Tony and Granpa Linda, they are in town for the week. Nana and the rest of the family also, however as the girls were getting ready EVERYTHING was stressing her out. When she is in this mood nothing can be done to fix the things that are stressing her out. Then she just starts yelling that she is sorry, and we try to tell her it is ok, but it just goes on. She was able to hold it together to eat dinner, but had to leave the table early. She went out to the car, and fell asleep on the way home. Being stressed out all day was an exhausting event for her. Hope she has sweet dreams and a good day tomorrow. Kris

Thursday..2nd visit to new Dr.......

Yesterday went great. Faith had her second appointment with her new psychologist. I was unable to go since I was in a class the Army has me in. Renae said it went great. He shared some suggestions, said he wanted to wait until we got her stable to implement some tests he wants to conduct. One reassuring thing he told renae is that the evening meltdowns are most likely her slowing down from a day of overwhelming stimulation. He said we are handling them well...Renae has been taking her for drives to calm her down and help her medicine set in to assist in sleeping. We have her off of all the medicines she was on prior. There is a huge difference, which I think is so much better. Before I guess she was medicated and this wild, loud, but mostly happy side of her wasn't there. But she definitely cannot stay still. Next week we have an appointment at a school the doctor recommended. I can't lie, Renae explained it to me but I will have to come back with some more information before telling you about it. Of course we will keep you posted. Our girl is really enjoying the holidays. Her grandparents are here visiting, and she is baking and cooking all day with her grandma. She loves the holidays more than any other time of the year. It is fun to see her so happy. She just hates the evenings, they are so tough. Kris

Daddy and Faith....

Christmas party....

We had an awesome evening at the Battalion Christmas party. Today was a good day for Faith..I am hoping for two in a row....but no one is asleep yet so I cannot count this one yet. Well I spoke too soon...five minutes before she was asleep something started stressing her out...causing her body to hurt...which sent her off... a long drive in the car and an hour later...all is quite. KRIS

Rebecca's Dream | Changing the Face of Depression

Rebecca's Dream | Changing the Face of Depression

One day Faith's Story will be this big, I just know it and have this feeling in my heart!!!!

Monday evening.....

Well we made it through the day without having to go to the ER. It is amazing how much Faith has changed yet how little she has improved. She use to yell "I don't feel good" now it is "they are STRESSING ME OUT" which is then immediately followed by a manic rage. As she is growing older she is able to communicate a little better. However good that is it is yet to help us determine what exactly is going on in her mind and body. It is the absolute worse feeling in the world as a father to see your daughter suffering, totally dependent on her mother since I am not home as much, and wearing my wife out to total exhaustion. I don't know how mothers do it. They endure so much and will NEVER quit when it comes to their kids. Sometimes I wish I could just put Renae on a plane to a wonderful beach resort for relaxation and pampering and I will stay home with the kids, but I don't think she would truly enjoy it because she would know that Faith is not well. Nor could Faith make it without her. Now Faith is upstairs yelling in a rage, if someone who has not heard her before were to walk in, they would not think it could possibly be Faith. She is yelling at Renae that she just wants to go to sleep but she is just too stressed out from feeling bad....this sucks. Kris

Manic monday.....

Terrible day....weather is horrendous and Faith woke up raging...Faith was begging to go to the ER..thankfully we got her asleep...only way to end it...my poor wife is exhausted.  KRIS

Abbi's Birthday....

Today our youngest turns five. A lot of noise, yelling and commotion. We shall see how the transition at the end of the party will be????

Mobile posts....

I now have the mobile version up....had some minor glitches before....most notably operator errors.

New psychiatrist....

Yesterday Faith got to meet her new doctor. We were and are excited about this since he has been working many years with the new psychologist Faith is being seen by. They have worked on many " A-typical" cases together over the years with good success. It is nice also to be able to see a doctor more than once a month. Either one of ours will be able to let the other know of changes so we can make adjustments sooner rather than after a month. Especially right now as we are starting over on the medications. It was always hard to wait a month after realizing that the prescription did not work with Faith. That is what we were dealing with prior to this switch. We all have an aura of hope around us. Nights are still extremely tough with the meltdowns. It is taking a toll not only on Faith but on the entire household. We will make it, but it has been and will continue to be tough. Sometimes I wonder who it is harder on....Faith or Renae?? They are both suffering so much, yet there is no help for the mom's. The only thing that will help is having Faith feeling better. Lets hope for the best. KrisandRenae

Thanksgiving weekend....

We had a wonderful weekend. I haven't posted in a few days since there is nothing new to update about. We are back to daily meltdowns that do not end until Faith is passed out with exhaustion. We still cannot figure out what triggers them, I wish I knew. Faith can feel them coming but we still cannot stop them. She just cannot calm down. Lately she is screaming at the top of her lungs...it really hurts our ears. She is yelling at us to help her, but there is nothing we can do, so it is an never ending circle of arguments with her. "Mommy you are mean, you will not help me", "I will do anything I can do to help you"...followed by a bunch of possible solutions to try and help her. The hard part is it stresses everyone out...I am the one that wants to try different things, approaches, or anything since nothing is working. Renae is the opposite, she doesn't want to and thinks I am saying she can control it. It is tough to make sure we do not argue under these stressful situations. It becomes very easy to take out my anger and frustration on anyone around. The key is to make sure you talk about these situations when all is calm and no one makes decisions in haste and frustration. We have appointments on Wednesday with Faith's new doctors. I am excited to have someone offer some fresh perspectives on Faith. One thing that is also excited is that almost weekly someone contacts us to talk about something similar in their family. Even though every mood disorder is different one common denominator is we all are scared, we all have no one to talk to that understands, and we all are glad to meet someone to share our experiences and stresses with. It is nice to know there are other families out there that are walking our walk, not just talking the talk. KrisandRenae

It didn't last....

We had a good couple of days, but it has ended. Right now Faith is on the couch yelling at the top of her lungs that she is stressed and we do not understand. It is yelling that actually hurts our ears. Tess had to stop what she was doing and take Abbi upstairs because she is scared. I am not going to say what she is yelling now, just believe me if we weren't so calloused to these words and phrases coming out of her in these rages they would really hurt. She has no clue what set her off, she does not remember, she is just going from one thing to another as far as a topic. We can't talk to her, or even look at her, but she wants us in the room to hear these screams. It is crazy. Something I will never get used to as a parent. If a stranger or someone were to witness this it would probably leave an everlasting scare, or image in their mind that would never leave. How can such a sweet little girl have such anger, hate, and rage come out of her body for no reason at all? It sucks, I wish I could take it from her forever. It has been going on for thirty minutes with no sign of a letdown. I wish there was an instant medicine to give her to put her into sleep, not possible, and I believe if it was she would just wake up with and start where she left off. Hope everyone has a good evening. Kris and Renae

A great weekend.....

We had a wonderful weekend as a family. Faith made it almost two entire days now without a meltdown. She was able to get out of the house and go spend Saturday afternoon with some friends. She absolutely loves playing with them. This allowed Renae to spend the afternoon on a mommy-daughter date with Abbi. They had a blast!! Then Tess had two friends sleep over on Saturday night. The house was lively and it was one of the few times all three of my daughters got along. Renae and just laid in bed, watched football, and hung out. It was nice. Renae went shopping all afternoon Saturday and I hung out with my ladies. The things we use to take for granted are what can make a house a happy one.KrisandRenae

Looking for assistance....

I am starting today to reach out to organizations for assistance and guidance. It is a long process, but I figure I should get help from at least 1 out of every 100 I ask. Will keep you posted. Kris

A good day.....

Friday was the first good day Faith had in I don't know how long. I came home at lunch and she was bathing the dog. She made sure she came down and gave me a hug and said goodbye. She also wanted to clarify that she was going to be able to go over to her friends today and play. I came home after work and she was watching a movie marathon on ABC Family channel. In a great mood and jumping all of the place. This is the unexplainable and confusing part of Mood Disorders. There is no rhyme or reason to the moods, nor is there any warning or repreve. It was a nice quiet evening and everyone got to bed early and are sleeping in. We will see how the weekend goes. I am counting the days until November 30 when we get to meet her new psychiatrist. She is trying her hardest as are we to try to explain what is going on with our child that is causing us to be a little different. To all who say this, "she looked great last time I saw her". That is like asking a lady who looks pregnant if she is pregnant. There is no way to take it back nor will you ever be the same in that lady's eyes. It is the same when you say that to me. On another good note. I blog is working. Renae was approached by someone who is going through some similar struggles at home with a child. I know how good it felt for her to talk to someone and meet someone who understands. Please talk to us, ask us questions, or just talk to someone you know has a loved one with a Mood Disorder. Every case is different, talking about it is the only way to raise awareness. Remember, NO TWO CASES ARE THE SAME. Kris and Renae

Everyones tired.....

One thing that is usually overlooked when raising a child with a disability is its affect on the family. This has been a long year. We have to wait until the 30 of November to get Faith in with her other new doctor. The strain on the family with these constant mood swings is becoming apparent. Everyone is short with each other, all of our patients have disappeared. Little things at work that would never bother me are now monumental for some reason. The look on my wife's face tells the story with just a short glance. It is tough to be the strong partner and parent, but sometimes I just have to raise the white flag and admit defeat. This happens to Renae mostly because she is home all day with Faith. But we just never seem to be able to do this at different times. This is a little more understanding to family, friends, and coworkers when the children have a disability that can be seen. However the offers of help and understanding do not seem to come as often to those parents of children with hidden disabilities. In most cases a person knows there will eventually be a light at the end of the tunnel, but then some of us just have to admit that there will never be a light at the end of the tunnel. I would not have it any other way to be honest. I have learned so much, my opinions changed so much, my heart shaped so much since Faith has come into my life. A day off every now and then would be nice. When she gets better we will have that, I just hope it happens soon for her sake and sometimes mine. Kris

A new ray of light.....

I have taken a few days off from the internet and posting. I was just too exhausted mentally from this entire hospitalization. I just hung out with my kids, went to a horse show, and pretty much rearranged the entire house. Why I decided to do a spring cleaning in November, who knows. Today we were fortunate to go see a new Psychologist with Faith. Renae and I think he is exactly what we were looking for. He called Faith an A-typical case, very different, yet in a crisis mode right now. He agreed with the severe anxiety, but does not like to label children as young as her with BiPolar. He had us in his office for over two hours. I have never seen a doctor do this, he rescheduled an appointment that was in the waiting room because of Faith's current condition. He even pulled some strings to get us an appointment with a psychiatrist that he has worked with for many years on some pretty unique A-typical cases. Instead of over a month we have one on November 30. He is open to all avenues, he is going to be doing some testing that Renae has been requesting for years. He is also worried about the daily meltdowns of terror and anger she has. This is something unique that may even be something that has not yet fully shown itself. He recommended a private school that is more open to Faith's unique requirements for school to help her get back in to a classroom. We will post later what we find out about that. I am so exhausted that I cannot remember all the details. I will get Renae to start writing what is on her mind and give some more specifics on this journey. Thank you to the new friends that have donated towards Faith's service dog. We have a long way to go, but these donations are uplifting and keep us going. Little Angels emailed me yesterday that they have been approved as a Non Profit Organization by the IRS. So I will pass that info along when I receive it. Right now it is 6:30 PM, Faith woke up this morning angry and not feeling good. She had a pretty good day, made it through the long doctors appointment, ate a huge dinner of her favorite food (Ribs), but just exploded about 10 minutes ago for no reason at all. She just started running through the house screaming how much she hates us and how bad she feels. Renae took her for a ride, this seems to calm her, almost as it was when the girls were infants and we would take them for rides in the middle of the night to get them to quit crying and go to sleep. On a side note support from everywhere on Post here has been great. It seems Faith is a very A-typical case to the Army and TriCare. It seems once I raised a red flag and made the correct people aware of what is going on with us they took immediate action. This is another reason we must continue with this mission of awareness....so we can clear the path for future families. Kris

Coming home...

Faith gave it a valiant effort but for no reason of hers she is heading home from Louisville and the Brook. I have never seen someone want something so badly and work so hard as she did for this to work. She is just not able to make it in there without losing control. The Brook hospital has a great staff and they will not hold a child down nor will they medicate to calm them down. Faith was not able to calm down. However bad she wanted to be there and get help, when she left us she could not control her emotions. Her anxiety took control of her body and she would scream in anguish. I feel she is too young to do something like that by herself. She has had a couple of very traumatic experiences in the past that involved her being taken from us. In hind site it was a bad decision on our part, but we trusted the opinion of so called experts. Now we only trust our intuition when we make decisions. We NEVER make decisions involving her in the midst of a crisis. Prior to this we had lengthy discussions of "what ifs" with Faith. We left the building and once we got Faith calmed down we decided to give it one more try. As with people who suffer from PTSD, when certain things happen in your surroundings, without any warning or control, your body starts it "fight or flight" to protect itself. In Faith's circumstances she "flights" and to try and get out of the place that is terrifying her. Just as I am with heights, whether I can deal with them or not, my body shakes uncontrollably. No matter how many times I repel, I cannot stop the shaking. She cannot stop the fighting and terror to get out of an scary situation. We have contacted numerous doctors and they suggest major therapy work with a psychologist to help her through this transition she is unable to go through. However we must get her "feeling good" before doing that. That is why we were attempting the partial hospitalization, to get her stable enough to work on this. However we may have taken too long to get her in the hospital, at least that is what I think, she is not stable enough emotionally to tackle this issue of separation anxiety. So after lengthy discussions with the director of the Brook we have decided to bring her home, take care of her here, and start over next week to get her stable. We have an appointment with a Psychologist on Wednesday and he has been diagnosing and assisting children for over 30 years. He has been recommended to us by numerous psychiatrists and we are going to go this route now. I have received an email from someone here on post after posting an ICE complaint here. This the Army's way of allowing us to have access to the necessary people to complain and/or praise anyone or any department in the Army. I appreciate the quick response from them but maybe I missed typed it. I have learned the hard way exactly what is offered here on post and through TriCare. I am just so tired of people who do not know us or know Faith telling me what Renae and I should do with her. We will NEVER admit her to a hospital where she will be away from one of us unless she attempts to hurt herself. We have talked to her about this numerous times when she was feeling good. It is not an option for us and I do not feel it necessary to discuss this with people when I tell them that. Especially ones that do not take the time to read her file, the people at TriCare. I am also tired of being referred to some type of treatment that is going to break me financially when I am suppose to be covered under TriCare. I just learned that they will not cover Intense Outpatient therapy for her, they only cover active duty soldiers, not their dependents. Like I have said before there are all types of programs and people that are out there to help families like us. We just could really use someone to help guide us through this maze. That is where I am taking this. I am going to be that map for families with family members suffering from Mood Disorders. Faith is happy to be home, so far she is holding her own, I will post after the next doctors appointment. Thanks for all of your support, it means a lot to us. KrisandRenae

We made it past the doors but faith could not let go....now she is so upset because she wants help...she is running around the parking lot screaming that she is not going home or leaving this hospital until she gets help and feels happy again

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Long day....

Our day started around 3am. After getting my leave papers signed and the girls off to school Renae, Faith, and I drove here to Louisville, Ky to admit Faith into the The Brook Hospital here. That is a long process, took us approx three hours. Faith was awesome in answering questions, it has to be the best I have ever seen her open up and be honest. You can really tell she is wanting this to work. We were so lucky to come to our temporary home here at the Ronal McDonald house. This is an amazing place with some amazing families and children. Words just cannot describe the warm welcome and smiles from all the families here. There are volunteers that come here every night to cook warm meals for us. What a change from the last hospitalization, hopefully this continues, we will not know for a week or so. Tonight there are two therapy dogs coming to visit the kids. Faith is so excited. She is so anxious about tomorrow that she cannot set still. I just hope she has the courage and strengh she needs to do this. I know she will for the first couple of days, but this is not easy. They do what they can to push and prod her mentally to every breaking point known. They must see her at her absolute worst so they can correctly diagnose her and get her stable. It is heartbreaking knowing what they are doing behind those doors when your child leaves, the only thing keeping me sain is know we get to have her in our arms each day at 5pm. I do not , nor do I ever, want to know how parents can let their kids go for weeks at a time. She is so tough but dang no kid should ever have to do this. It is not fair. I wish I could take all this pain from her and put it in me...so she would never have to suffer again. Keep Faith in your thoughts. She will win this battle I know...kris and renae

remae and faith

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faith with ronald

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checked in....

We finished with faith's admission and arrived to her and renae's new home for a while...the ronald mcdonald house in louisville. What an awesome and warm reception we had...to include a warm home cooked dinner for all the families by some wonderful ladies.

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louisville kentucky

We are in louisville at the brook hospital getting faith admitted...say your prayers for her to have strength and courage.

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Children with PTSD

Yes it is true...the military servicemembers are not the only ones suffering from PTSD. Children even suffer from it!!!! PTSD Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, PTSD, is an anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to a traumatic event or ordeal in which grave physical, psychological, or sexual harm occurred or was threatened. When in danger, it's natural to feel afraid, and this fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger, or to avoid it. This "fight-or-flight" response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in PTSD, this reaction is changed, damaged, and often over activated. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they're no longer in danger. People with PTSD tend to: Experience sleeping problems, including bad dreams Stay away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience Feel strong guilt, depression, or worry Lose interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past Feel detached or numb Be easily startled

Facts about Mood Disorders

These are borrowed from http://bringchange2mind.org/pages/learn-the-facts LEARN THE FACTS One of the best ways you can help someone with mental illness is by understanding what it is — and what it isn't. After all, myths about mental illnesses contribute to stigma, which in turn prevents those who are living with one from seeking help. The fact is, a mental illness is a disorder of the brain — your body's most important organ — and 1 in 6 adults lives with a brain-related illness including depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD and schizophrenia. Like most diseases of the body, mental illness has many causes — from genetics to other biological, environmental and social/cultural factors. And just as with most diseases, mental illnesses are no one's fault. The unusual behaviors associated with some illnesses are symptoms of the disease — not the cause. But most importantly, mental illnesses are treatable through medication and psychosocial therapies — allowing those who suffer from them the opportunity to lead full and productive lives. FACT VS. FICTION FICTION: People living with a mental illness are often violent. FACT: Actually, the vast majority of people living with mental health conditions are no more violent than anyone else. People with mental illness are much more likely to be the victims of crime. FICTION: Mental illness is a sign of weakness. FACT: A mental illness is not caused by personal weakness — nor can it be cured by positive thinking or willpower — proper treatment is needed. FICTION: Only military personnel who have been in combat can suffer from PTSD. FACT: While PTSD is prevalent in men and women who have seen combat, experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event can trigger PTSD, including violent personal assaults such as rape or robbery, natural or human-caused disasters, or accidents. FICTION: People with a mental illness will never get better. FACT: For some people, a mental illness may be a lifelong condition, like diabetes. But as with diabetes, proper treatment enables many people with a mental illness to lead fulfilling and productive lives. FICTION: Children don't suffer from mental illness. FACT: Millions of children are affected by depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses. As a matter of fact, 1 in 10 children suffer from a diagnosable mental illness. Getting treatment is essential. FICTION: "Mental illness can't affect me!" FACT: Mental illness can affect anyone. While some illnesses have a genetic risk, mental illness can affect people of all ages, races and income levels, whether or not there is a family history. BIPOLAR Bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, is a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. Symptoms of bipolar disorder are more severe than the normal ups-and-downs that everyone goes through from time to time. Bipolar disorder symptoms can result in damaged relationships, poor job or school performance, and even suicide. But bipolar disorder can be treated. A combination of professional counseling and medication helps most people live productive and fulfilling lives. Bipolar symptoms are sometimes not recognized as parts of a larger problem, so it can be years before a person is properly diagnosed and treated. While some experience symptoms during childhood, bipolar disorder often develops in a person's late teens or early adult years. It has been reported that at least half of all cases start before age 25. Like diabetes or heart disease, bipolar disorder is a long-term illness that must be carefully managed throughout a person's life. Bipolar mood changes are called episodes, and people usually shift from manic to depressive episodes. People with bipolar disorder tend to experience: Excessively "high", euphoric mood Extreme irritability Unrealistic beliefs in one's abilities and powers, such as feeling able to control world events Decreased need for sleep without feeling tired Racing thoughts or fast speech Distractibility or difficulty concentrating Agitation Spending sprees Increasing sadness or feeling very "down" Worried or empty feelings Difficulty concentrating A tendency to forget things a lot A lost interest in fun activities and a tendency to be less active Trouble sleeping Thoughts about of death or suicide

Nightmare day....

What a nightmare of a day yesterday was. However terrible it was, and I am still too mad to write about it, we got faith a bed at The Brook in Louisville, KY. We will be heading out this morning once we get Tess on the bus. It is going to be a hard and demanding month for the entire Forchione Family, but we will make it through like we always do. I know one thing for sure, when this is over I am going on the warpath to bring some issues with Tricare and mood disorders to light. That beauracracy needs help and some drastic changes. I kinda know how these soldiers with PTSD feel around here. "She looks ok to me" or "take her to the emergency room" or even the best one from a lady in California...."if she is that acute then you need to take her and inpatient her to the hospital". That lady might want to do a little research on my daughter, maybe even look at her file, before she suggests for me to do something that has already been done and scarred Faith for life. Let it be know to the world....Renae and I will NEVER let someone rip our daughter from our arms again....I don't care who or what they say...a parent knows what is right and wrong, for some that would be right, for me it is a sign of giving up and I will never give up on finding help for Faith. More to follow once we get her admitted. I will share a hospitalization for a 10 year old at a psychiatric hospital. KrisandRenae

a subtle message...

This evening was hard for faith....she played great all day...keeping her mind occupied..then reality set in this evening. Faith screamed "i made it through the weekend now PLEASE find me a hospital tomorrow". We will try baby. KrisandRenae

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hanging with dad....

Saturday was a good day for the most part. Faith slept in and then we loaded up to go to my moms new house to finish putting the skirting on the trailer so she can move in. Faith was just mad at the world and wouldn't put a smile on her face for anything. Just out of the blue she came up to me and asked if I wanted to go to lunch with her...just me and her...well that was going to be followed by an obvious answer. So I had to break early for lunch and we went and ate at a place called Burritos, it is her favorite. Her friend Bella call that morning and asked if Faith wanted to play and she said she would after lunch. When she got off the phone we had to promise we would go get her if she called and did not feel good. Well finally at around 6:30 last night I went to get her and her little sister from Bella's house and as I pull up to the park across the street I see a little group of kids playing tackle football, and low and behold there is Faith chasing down a boy 25 pounds bigger than her and slamming him to the ground and there pops smile as big as Texas. She came running over to me and said she is having a blast and could I wait a little longer to take her home. Yep I sure did and yep she was whooping some boys butts....I think we have found a great way for her to let off some steam...a crazy yet good way. Who would have ever guessed, she is usually very timid to try new things, but she has some great little friends that attempt to understand what she is going through and try their hardest to make her feel better. That is what I love about the military, we all have so much yet so little in common, and we are like an extended family. It is crazy to see how being poor can bring some great families together!!! LOL Here's to hoping we have just as wonderful a Sunday. KrisandRenae

Another bump in the road..

My four year old Abigail called me on the phone yesterday around 11am and with a scared voice told me to come home that mommy needed me because Faith was really not feeling good. I could hear Faith yelling in the background and Renae trying to console her. I was at the hospital at the Referral office trying to get some assistance getting her admitted into a hospital as soon as possible. The only thing I learned there was that Faith should have been assigned a behavior case manager to guide and assist us through this bureaucracy call health care so that we could focus on her and the rest of our family instead of struggling to get her into a hospital. This should have happened after her first stay in a psychiatric hospital. Now they tell us????!!!!!!! So my next stop was to the TriCare office where Renae met me with Faith. The lady there was awesome. She stopped what she was doing and spent 30 minutes calling around to everyone she knew to try and get us a case manager as fast as possible so we could try and get Faith admitted this weekend maybe. However unsuccessful this was, we were able to leave a message on the manager of the behavior case workers in California. She actually called us back within an hour and then the bombshell was placed upon us. She informed us that TriCare would not pay for Renae to stay with Faith during her partial hospitalization. Even though this is what her doctor wants and the previous stay at the hospital showed is the only thing that would work. My unit in the Army has to pay for Renae's part of the hospitalization because TriCare considers this type of hospitalization as "outpatient treatment". What makes it even more amusing is that in the Behavior Health Pamphlet handed out at their office has a few pages on outpatient hospitalizations and how they are a recommended form of treatment. They just do not cover what happens if one of those facilities is not in your region. Faith has a combination of disorders that require a very specific type of treatment. The outpatient treatment is the only one that will work for her because of her severe anxiety that is fueled by her BiPolar. So her mom right now is her safety blanket that we hope to be replaced by the service dog. She has had a couple of traumatic experiences that she is afraid to relive which also fuels her anxiety. One of which is her getting ripped out of our arms one day because we were naive enough to believe a principal and a teacher at a school that this was what was needed to get her into school. Unaware of her mood disorders we allowed it to happen. Now she relives that experience with weekly nightmares that wake her in cold sweats. We have both promised Faith that we will never let that happen again. So when someone tells me to do an inpatient treatment, and that they " have workers standing by ready to take her back" I really just want to punch them in the face and walk out, but Faith needs the help so I just give them a serious stare and say " no thank you, next option". These people get to go home at night, we get to live with this hidden disability the rest of our lives. This is where I am determined to help remove this stigma of mood disorders and how people just don't understand how serious they can be. So once we were told this wonderful news from the lady in California, I went to the one person who came through for us last time Faith was in the Hospital and we were told TriCare was not going to pay for it. In the Army they have what is called an Ombudsman. They are there to help service members and their families with ANY issue that we cannot figure out. Our ombudsman was not too happy when Faith and I went into his office and told him we were sent to yet another hospital without being told that Renae's expenses would not be covered. TriCare told us last time it was because we were under 100 miles from the treatment facility and yesterday they said it was considered an outpatient treatment. Maybe I should have just put Faith on a plane by herself so she could get the treatment she needed??? Well to make a long story short he took Faith and I to the hospital to see a very high ranking gentlemen who stopped what he was doing and spent about an hour getting us the answers we needed. It turns out this was a loophole in the system that pretty much every person he spoke to was unaware of. People were making calls from home on a Friday evening and talking to him on speaker phone trying to get help for Faith. From the beginning he said "we will get her and your wife where they need to be, we just have to figure out exactly how to do it". Not only did he work it out, his top priority is to have a plan in place for us and other children in the future so this will never happen again. The Army is a wonderful organization that truely does care about its service members and most importantly their families. It is just hard sometimes to get through the maze of organizations and offices that are in place to assist us with anything and everything that we need. Thankfully there are wonderful employees out there that really do care and will do what is necessary to accomplish a task. Thank you Fort Campbell for helping our family and most importantly Faith on this very stressful and scary day. KrisandRenae

Another attempt...

Today Faith tried going to school. She was unsuccessful. Renae is leaving messages at The Brook to see how soon Faith can be admitted because Faith told her that she does not think she can make it much longer.

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The toughest thing as parent.....

Sometimes I wonder what is the toughest thing about being a parent. Besides of course losing a child, nothing could be worse than that. However there are a lot of parents out there who have had some tough experiences. One thing I can never get over or out of my mind is when Faith is having a meltdown or is screaming out of control because she cannot handle the feelings inside her body and head. Sometimes she looks at Renae and me and lets out a terror filled scream yelling " please, please help me!!!! I cannot go on living like this...or I don't feel good..or I cannot stand this...please mommy and daddy pleases do something to help me!!!! " and we know we are trying our best, however there is absolutely nothing we can do to help her at that moment. We cannot lie to her and tell her we understand how she is feeling, because we don't. We cannot try to sooth her because any touching of her skin hurts her because all of her senses are extremely sensitive when she is going through one of these "episodes". We have to just sit there and ensure she does not hurt herself or one of the other kids and until she finally passes out from complete exhaustion. At ten years old she is now old enough to communicate with us and try to explain what is happening, but usually it is not enough. However she can feel when one is coming, as can we. We have just recently noticed that her pupils will open up all the way, almost to where you do not see any of her hazel eye color. When we see her eyes like that we know an episode is coming. It just breaks my heart when my daughter begs me for help and I cannot do anything to help her....especially when I have to just stand by and watch her suffer. No kid should have to go through that.....no kid should ever have to suffer...it has to be the toughest thing I have personally ever gone through and continue to go through. Just my thought for today....Kris

Parthenon in Nashville

At centennial park during family time at the marriage retreat

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thank you....thank you...thank you !!!!!!!

Thank you , thank you , thank you , thank you to those that have made donations towards Faith's dog!!! I cannot believe we are already at $800. We are so lucky to have friends and family like you who donated. We can promise you one thing, these donations will be passed forward and go towards not only helping Faith but also other children. What ever we receive that exceeds our expenses will go towards another dog for another child until we run out of children to help....which will be never. Thanks again and I will keep you posted as the donations grow. krisandrenae

A very long week

Well let me first start off by saying I am sorry for not posting in over a week. A lot of things have been happening and time just flew by. This past weekend the Army sent our family on an all expense paid marriage retreat. We were very hesitant to attend because of Faith's current condition, however we were so lucky to have some friends also attend who have three kids also and they all get along so well. Their son suffers from Bi-Polar also and was able to give some great words of encouragement to Faith. Renae and I learned the 5 love languages and really got to relax for the first time since I don't know when. We did not have to worry about any of the children and they had a blast. Wonderful, wonderful weekend. Thanks to our friends and my unit for allowing us to attend. It was a wonderful tune up to an already great marriage Faith lost it upon our return home. Transitions are and absolute nightmare for her. She has not recovered since. We are calling The Brook hospital daily to see if they have an opening. We hope she can hold out but we just are not sure. It really seems at times that whatever is going on in her head is slowly driving her insane. It is a never ending circle. She does not feel right, she can't go to school because she cannot control her emotions and/or rages, this stresses her out even more, which makes her feel worse. The bad feelings and anxiety fuel each other until she finally passes out. And there is nothing we can do. We finally got an appointment with a new psychologist next week who has been successfully diagnosing children's mood disorders for over 30 years. We are hoping maybe he can find something that we have been missing. We also finally, after over six months, got the referral to a neurologist at the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital in Nashville, TN. Renae and I have just made a commitment to try any and everything to find out exactly what is wrong with her in the hopes that she will quit suffering so much. That is why it is so important for you to help us spread the word about this blog and Faith's Story. I talk about all of this to my friends, neighbors, co-workers and anyone who will listen since we decided to "go public" with Faith's story and no one understands or can believe this is happening to such a sweet and innocent girl. But it is true. I will do almost anything but post video of her, that would be too personal and embarrassing for her and I do not want to hurt her. I will just try to explain it with words as we go along a little more on this journey. Please talk about her to anyone and anything that will listen. I know the dog we are trying to get will not cure her, but I am sure it will help her overcome this anxiety that is fueled by her Bi-polar. I just want to be able to get her out of the house so all of us can go help other children who are going crazy on the inside but look normal on the outside. I promise to figure out again how to post paragraphs and pictures to this blog in the next couple of weeks so I can log this journey better. thanks to everyone for your support and kind words, we could not do it without you.....krisandrenae

Great Weekend

It was a great weekend. Maybe the sunlight and warm weather had something to do with it. Moods change just as fast as the weather. It is nice to not have any meltdowns for a couple of days at least. I have been searching through Facebook and finding some neat pages of parents with children with mood disorders. This is going to be a slow process to educate people so we can get rid of the stigma associated with mood disorders. It will change significantly when they see what they think is a perfectly normal ten year old girl walking around with a service dog and we tell them she suffers from a hidden disability. This I know for sure. I think I am going to get some t-shirts made that simply say "Faith's Story"....this will get people to start asking questions.....anyhow ....we had a great weekend in the Forchione house and we are grateful for that. KrisandRenae

Sunday morning coffee

Well as I set her this morning and have my coffee while everyone is asleep I feel like it is a great time to ponder the last week. Faith seems to have settled down a little. Her rapid cycling has slowed a little. We did for sure get an appointment in a few weeks with a child psychologist who was recommended by the many doctors who were unable to help us while I was calling every know doctor in Tennessee and Kentucky. A few of these doctors, to Renae's surprise, even called me from their personal cell phones. It seems that Faith's Story touches even their hearts. Everyone, and I mean everyone, down to a temporary receptionist that was filling in for the day took time to help and say supporting things to me. It was amazing. There is just not enough help out there for children. Very few doctors it seems specialize or even deal with children. It has only added fuel to my fire. This weekend I spent all day yesterday and until lunchtime today getting the last of my mom's stuff moved down here to Clarksville. She will be closer to us to help and also for us to help her. We are all excited. Then this afternoon we are going over to my former boss's house for a Halloween and pumpkin carving party. It will be fun. The girls, thanks to their mom, absolutely love any and every holiday. It is amazing to watch them. Thank you to everyone this week for your kind words. This is only the beginning. It will only get harder, but I believe that will make us more determined to help others, to share more, and to make a difference. Everything does happen for a reason and I think I may have found my calling. ~KrisandRenae~

New doctor????

Yesterday was a better day. I received a call from a psychiatrist who does not see children, however he still took the time to talk to me and hear Faith's story. He was able to recommend a children's psychologist for her to work with that he really thinks can help us narrow down or figure our her exact diagnosis. From looking at other blogs and talking to other parents Renae has learned of scans they do of the brain and monitoring of the brain while the child is going through a normal day. Maybe we can have this done of Faith one day???? She had a good day yesterday. She was so excited about our neighbor's husband coming home that she could not stand it. We are currently looking for places to put a aluminum recycling bin to help raise money. They are 10$ apiece. If anyone knows of a location, maybe at work that they could help collect cans and recycle them for money please let us know. We could send you a box and it would help tremendously. Hope everyone is having a great day and welcome home Robert Holland!!!!! Thanks for what you do!!!! KrisandRenae

"Donation Link" is up

Today Faith slept most of the day. Right now she is running through the house really happy for a few minutes then screaming at the top of her lungs mad about something, thus the cycle continues. The last few days have been really angry and mad. I think we finally may have our foot in the door to get an appointment with a child psychiatrist at the Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. We have been trying since August and today the lady from one department said we would be on a wait list for approximately one year before she could see a neuro-psychiatrist. After hearing our story she made some calls and after me calling different doctors in different cities I got back to Vanderbilt. Keep your fingers crossed that we can get her in there. It is one of the best children's hospitals in the country.
One of my friends today at work asked what was going on with this blog. I put it to him simply, "I am tired of trying to explain what my family and daughter are going through on a daily basis when people just don't get it or don't believe me." So we decided to put it all out there for people who are curious or care to see how the life of a child with a mood disorder and their family get by day to day. Again remember that is our ultimate goal. I got an email from a lady at Operation Homefront explaining that they only assist soldiers and their family of currently deployed soldiers. I wrote back "no problem, but please refer me to an organization who can help spread our message by something as little as posting a link on  their website or a poster at their work. We will see how she replies.
Today we got an email from Katie at Little Angels Service Dogs, Faith's information is now on their website for people or organizations to make donations. Please remember that they are a charitable corporation that reaches across the United States partnering service dogs with the disabled. Donations will be used for the dogs and each person or organization who donates will receive documentation of their donation for tax purposes. The Little Angels Service Dogs organization is currently in the process of becoming a not for profit   organization, however this does take a while to complete. Her is a link to her page for making donations. Please post or share it with as many people or organizations as you can.

http://www.littleangelsdogtraining.net/donate.html

Thanks, Kris and Renae

Psychiatric Service Dogs

One of the reasons we want to bring awareness to Mood Disorders is that for some people psychiatric service dogs have become a tremendous tool to assist those people with their everyday life tasks that we take for granted. The following link is to the site of the organization who is going to be providing Faith with her Psychiatric Service Dog. Once we have raised enough money they will choose a dog for Faith and begin specific training for her and the dog. Please read this link and also go through the other pages. You may know of someone who could use a canine partner like Faith does. http://www.littleangelsdogtraining.net/psychiatricservicedogs.html Have a great day and please don't forget to tell FAITH'S STORY. kris and renae

Mobile testing

Monday Blues

It was a beautiful weekend here in Kentucky. The kids played outside from sunup to sundown, all in perfect fall weather. Today started a new week, the kids went back to school. Faith was unable to go. She was terrified that she would have these "demon feelings" while at school like she has had the last week. Well she knew something was coming that we did not. I got a call from Renae around 3pm at work and she asked me to come home. Faith had locked her and the girls out of the house and was running around inside screaming and throwing stuff. Her screaming and rage continued until around 6:30 pm until she was so exhausted she decided to go to bed. These are normally things that we do not share. These episodes are scary for us and very embarrassing for Faith. All three of us have decided that it is necessary to share these things as they happen so that people who do not live with these "hidden disabilities" can try to understand why our kids do not go to school, or why we might come to work with a huge bite mark on us, or why we cannot make it to the barn in the evening because I cannot leave Renae alone at home for fear of her getting hurt. It is also important that people understand the impact it can and does have on the other family members. A long forgotten rule of life is that family is there for you no matter what through thick and thin. I guess with today's society, just like in divorce, it is easier to just turn the other way and walk away. We have made a promise to Faith that we will never do that, although sometimes it can be the hardest thing in the world to keep this promise. And at what extent do you keep it? What happens when she grows up more and me nor Renae can protect her from herself. One thing I found ironic today was again she showed me her love of animals. She was definitely throwing and kicking things through one of her venting sessions, and one of the dogs came towards her.....she looked and it and calmed just for a second to allow it to pass...and then carried on. She can be so angry at the world for this stuff that goes on in her mind and yet she won't even kill an ant. Well we will keep you posted. We are hoping to take a tour of The Brook, a hospital in Louisville, KY. They have the opening for Faith next month, we just hope we can help her hold out long enough for that opening.

It has been a very long week for our family. The girls are their "Fall break" and staying at home and enjoying playing outside. Faith has had an extremely hard time, thus the reason for not writing in a while. It got so bad we drove to Louisville, KY Wednesday to get her assessed in hopes of being admitted. They have a program that will work for her, a partial hospitalization, however they do not have a bed open for another few weeks. Hopefully she can hold out. The people here at Fort Campbell, EFMP and CAPSj have been tremendous in helping us find a suitable hospital. There is also a retired gentleman who works for a hospital out of Virginia who is also trying to find us one closer to home. We will keep you posted on how this is going. At the same time Katie with Little Angels is making a little story of Faith on her website that will allow friends and families to make donations towards the dog. I will post a link when it is up. Our neighbor is putting a benefit ride together with his motorcycle club here for a fundraiser also. This should be really exciting for Faith, she just loves Harley Davidsons!!

mobile blogging?

This is a test...to see if this mobile blogging works. It will truely allow us to tell Faith's story and share more pictures.

Cheerleading and Yard Sales

This morning Faith had a game to attend with her cheerleader squad. It was freezing!! She did not make it through the entire game, I believe mainly because of the cold. Today was a post wide garage sale so we drove through some neighborhoods and then the girls decided to have their own yard sale. They made beaded bracelets to sale in hopes of raising money for Faith's dog. It was a great day.

We are also getting the information from Katie at Little Angels Service Dogs on exactly how to donate to Faith's dog. You will recieve paperwork from them to submit when filing taxes. I know a few of our friends have asked already however I will get the specifics and post as soon as possible.  Kris and Renae

A Heartfelt "Thank you"

Today as Renae and I work on the letter that we are going to be sending to prospective donors I was writing a paragraph covering Faith's hospitalization in May 2011. When she was hospitalized at Rivendell Behavioral Health Services Hospital    http://rivendellbehavioral.com/    we learned after her inprocessing that Tricare did not cover the expenses occured by us for travel, food, and hotel while she was hospitalized for three weeks. These totalled over $2500. Not getting her help was not an option. She could not stay overnight to complete the inpatient treatment program because of her anxiety, it would have not worked. So the wonderful people at Rivendell came up with a customized plan just for Faith allowing her inpatient treatment but also allowing her to be picked up by her mom after dinner to stay the night with her. Because of their compassion and caring we were able to get Faith Help without scarring her for life. Here at Fort Campbell we have the 101st Airborne Association   http://www.screamingeagle.org/ . This great association came to our rescue and helped us help Faith. Thank you's sometimes are not enough. As I promised CSM St. Louis, who leads the Association and personally called to check on Faith, I intend to make sure everyone is aware of them and the wonderful things the former soldiers of the 101st do to take care of each other. Please take the time to click on the link provided here or at the bottom of the page under Favorites and visit their website and pass the word around. They are selling stones that can be personalized to raise money. These stones will be placed in front of the Division Headquarters around the memorial there. Take a look. Organizations like this are what allow us soldiers to do what we do. They ensure we are taken care of no matter what or when we need help. Thank you 101st Airborn Association and Rivendell!!!

Faith's Story for Bio Page

This is the Biography that is going to be posted on the Little Angels Service Dogs website. Here is the link if you want to check it out:

http://www.littleangelsdogtraining.net/

Faith is a 10 year old from a military family living at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. When her father was stationed there in the summer of 2006 her world was turned upside down when she was unable to go to school. Attacks of unknown origin would overcome her and cause her to lose control and have complete and embarrassing meltdowns in public and at school. She was diagnosed with Mood Disorder, Bipolar disorder, and severe anxiety. She had to be homeschooled for first grade and she started seeing a Doctor and began taking medication and was finally able to go back to school for second and third grade. She was very successful, earning student of the month both years and finishing in the top five of her grade in reading counts, a program to track how many books the students read. She also won the Science Fair in third grade and was able to take her project to the county show. Unfortunately, towards the end of third grade the medications stopped working and she was hospitalized for three weeks. She has since been unable to return to school and is now being homeschooled for fourth grade.

Faith loves to go to school and her inability to attend school is one of the issues that continues to fuel her anxiety. She is so afraid of not being able to control her feelings or herself at school again that she starts having anxiety attacks on the way to school or even in class sometimes. Her Doctor is the person who first recommended a service dog. She said a couple of her patients were able to completely come off of all of their medications once they got a dog. Her parents were unaware that psychiatric service dogs even existed. Faith hopes that when she gets a dog that it will help her return to school and give her the courage, support, and unconditional love she needs to leave her home, her safe haven, and go out into the public like a normal child. She tells us everyday how she cannot wait until she gets her dog.

First Blog

Renae and I are starting this Blog to help bring awareness to what we call a "hidden disability". This disability is mood disorders or mental issues that people cannot see on a person so they find it hard to understand these disabilities. Most people with mood disorders are very good at hiding them from the public and show all the symptoms at home or in their "safe havens". Our daughter Faith has a "hidden disability" and we intend to share her story to help bring awareness to these disabilities and some of the awesome resources and people we have encountered to help us provide for Faith and help her live with her disability. We are also going to ask all of our friends and family to help pass the word so as to help us raise money to purchase Faith a psychiatric service dog. While doing this we also help to bring awareness to the awesome military spouse Katie Gonzalez, founder of Little Angels Service Dogs, who will be training Faith's dog and who has helped numerous other clients by providing psychiatric service dogs for them. Please help us with this blog by passing it on to your friends, adding to it, or helping us find stories of people who have service dogs or know someone who does. The more awareness we raise about service dogs and how much they help will hopefully help get them covered by our insurance companies. They sure do cost less than all the medications they want to put patients on however none of them want to pay for the dogs. Thanks a lot and chat with you soon.

Kris and Renae