Coming home...

Faith gave it a valiant effort but for no reason of hers she is heading home from Louisville and the Brook. I have never seen someone want something so badly and work so hard as she did for this to work. She is just not able to make it in there without losing control. The Brook hospital has a great staff and they will not hold a child down nor will they medicate to calm them down. Faith was not able to calm down. However bad she wanted to be there and get help, when she left us she could not control her emotions. Her anxiety took control of her body and she would scream in anguish. I feel she is too young to do something like that by herself. She has had a couple of very traumatic experiences in the past that involved her being taken from us. In hind site it was a bad decision on our part, but we trusted the opinion of so called experts. Now we only trust our intuition when we make decisions. We NEVER make decisions involving her in the midst of a crisis. Prior to this we had lengthy discussions of "what ifs" with Faith. We left the building and once we got Faith calmed down we decided to give it one more try. As with people who suffer from PTSD, when certain things happen in your surroundings, without any warning or control, your body starts it "fight or flight" to protect itself. In Faith's circumstances she "flights" and to try and get out of the place that is terrifying her. Just as I am with heights, whether I can deal with them or not, my body shakes uncontrollably. No matter how many times I repel, I cannot stop the shaking. She cannot stop the fighting and terror to get out of an scary situation. We have contacted numerous doctors and they suggest major therapy work with a psychologist to help her through this transition she is unable to go through. However we must get her "feeling good" before doing that. That is why we were attempting the partial hospitalization, to get her stable enough to work on this. However we may have taken too long to get her in the hospital, at least that is what I think, she is not stable enough emotionally to tackle this issue of separation anxiety. So after lengthy discussions with the director of the Brook we have decided to bring her home, take care of her here, and start over next week to get her stable. We have an appointment with a Psychologist on Wednesday and he has been diagnosing and assisting children for over 30 years. He has been recommended to us by numerous psychiatrists and we are going to go this route now. I have received an email from someone here on post after posting an ICE complaint here. This the Army's way of allowing us to have access to the necessary people to complain and/or praise anyone or any department in the Army. I appreciate the quick response from them but maybe I missed typed it. I have learned the hard way exactly what is offered here on post and through TriCare. I am just so tired of people who do not know us or know Faith telling me what Renae and I should do with her. We will NEVER admit her to a hospital where she will be away from one of us unless she attempts to hurt herself. We have talked to her about this numerous times when she was feeling good. It is not an option for us and I do not feel it necessary to discuss this with people when I tell them that. Especially ones that do not take the time to read her file, the people at TriCare. I am also tired of being referred to some type of treatment that is going to break me financially when I am suppose to be covered under TriCare. I just learned that they will not cover Intense Outpatient therapy for her, they only cover active duty soldiers, not their dependents. Like I have said before there are all types of programs and people that are out there to help families like us. We just could really use someone to help guide us through this maze. That is where I am taking this. I am going to be that map for families with family members suffering from Mood Disorders. Faith is happy to be home, so far she is holding her own, I will post after the next doctors appointment. Thanks for all of your support, it means a lot to us. KrisandRenae