She's right..I don't understand.....

I came home from work early today. The rest of my unit started Christmas block leave...we are not taking any...breaking routine and traveling right now is not an option. Faith and Renae were laying in bed in our room, Faith had a headache. She was getting stressed out because of the headache and refused to let Renae get up from the bed. Why??? I don't know. After about a half hour she was building into a meltdown, I went upstairs and told her to take some medicine to calm her down. She refused, she said she did not want to sleep. The problem is that it is impossible to reason with a 10 year old in the beginning stages of a meltdown. She kept saying " No, you just don't understand". I totally agree with her, I do not understand and will never be able to understand why she would not want to take some Meletonin to help her calm down so she can relax and not go through this horrendous experience. She just would not. I finally got her to take it, by then she was hyperventilating, and flopping around. All of this could have been avoided in my mind, yet in her's it cannot. Why does a headache stress her out so much to turn into this?? Why does she insist that her mom be there listening to her, as if she can help, but knowing she can't? I will never know these answers, I can honestly say I would give anything, and I mean anything to walk in her shoes for a while, or even take this from her and bear it myself. I cannot stand to see such a wonderful, sweet, and caring young child suffer like this. Yet, there is nothing more we can do than what we are doing. It just sucks. What sucks more is people never get to see this part of Mood Disorders. I do not want to share this suffering my child goes through with anyone, nor does she deserve to be embarrassed by someone seeing her in that state. It is like seeing death, the vision just can never be erased from your mind. With that said it is imperative that society just takes our word on it so we never have to share these experiences with them. But I have this feeling it is something we just might have to share one day, maybe just get an entire collection of children going through terrorizing meltdowns, hundreds of them, and making an hour long movie of it. Fuzzy out the faces, and make them experience these children suffering for just one hour. I do not think many of them would make it. So while all of my friends and co-workers are vacationing, I will be going to work and praying that I come home to a happy child who does not have to go through any suffering that day. I do not wish for pity, I just wish for compassion, compassion for these kids that suffer, compassion for their families, compassion from those around them so that they can understand that there is a such thing as a hidden disability. Kris