friday...

It has been a good week. Faith has felt pretty good. As with any mood disorder it can switch on a dime. Last night was a loud and angry transition into sleep. Something that is never talked about much is the toll that this hidden disease has on family members. It affects every one of us in its own way. It changes a house whether we want it to or not. It strains even the best relationship a married couple could have. It has kids fighting for attention whether we see it or not. It follows us to work, where people will never understand unless they live with it. I just sometimes lay back and think about it. I would never wish it wasn't in my life, because I could never imaging life without my daughter. I do sometimes think how all of us would be different without a mood disorder in our home. As tough as it is on us it does make us better. If not presently, for sure down the road. I know I have an appreciation for children and parents alike who have a disability in their family that I would have never had before. I also admire these brave children who never asked to be different but face reality every day with a brave determination some of us adults could only wish we had. Between personal relationships that have ended sourly, the military life, deployments, and our hidden disease I sometimes think I am at my limits. But as the paperwork shows in my military file, I have four dependents. I have to be strong and available for the other three also. I can honestly say that there is no class or course to prepare us for life and its lessons. We just somehow summons up the strength and courage to just do it. Enjoy the weekend. Love your family. And appreciate what you have. Kris