Vanderbilt....

At vanderbilt childrens hospital waiting to be seen by a neurologist.

Great Doctor visit....

Yesterday Faith and Renae visited her new doctor, it was a great visit. We kept her medicine at its current dose and as long as things go good over the next couple weeks we will not go back for three weeks. Faith has been doing great. She can still snap, but yet we are not having to go on drives in the evenings, we are not having meltdowns at night. As a matter of fact last night we were laying upstairs watching The Middle and she was laughing so hard and so loud, something I have missed hearing in a long time. I came home last night from work and she had a whole bunch of recipes organized on the coffee table. This is her new passion, she has always enjoyed cooking, but she is really passionate. This Saturday she has planned a huge dinner with a dessert. She went through her closet yesterday and donated all her clothes that no longer fit. This may seem like not a big deal, but to her it is HUGE. The day before yesterday she watched a movie marathon on television, twelve hours, again not a big deal to some people, but huge for her. Probably the most noticeable thing to me is her impulsive actions, she still does them, but she is able to stop a lot of times and retract her behavior before it is complete. I am most proud of her being able to express her feelings. She has always been remorseful of her behavior, however she has matured enough to say "what you are doing is really making me mad, please stop". I just have to figure out a way to get her to walk away and leave the room. (ha,ha) But I am just so thankful that she is not crying half the day and screaming about how miserable she is. I know it has only been a couple of weeks, but it is these little steps that turn into long walks, that eventually lead to cresting the top of a mountain and enjoying the beautiful view below. Kris

A great weekend...

I did not want to jinx our good fortunes or Faith's. We have had a great couple days. I have noticed Faith's ability to stop herself before going into a meltdown. To be honest she has even transitioned pretty good in the evening. We still seem to walk around on egg shells but maybe we are turning a corner on this issue. We have an appointment in Nashville this week at Vanderbilt University with a neurologist, we just want to rule out all possibilities. It has taken us a long time to get this referral, not because the doctors did not want to refer her, but because the waiting list is over a year. I will keep you posted on how it goes. I will also keep you posted on how she does of course. We also are going to start working this week on her IEP to figure out how we are going to get her into the new school. Hopefully we can get the correct paperwork done so that the school district will pay for her to go to it. However, if that is going to take six months I hope to figure out a way to get her into this private school. Between the service dog, military pay, Renae not working, and the cost of the school, that will be a tough thing to do. I believe so it shall happen somehow. Renae has always said I am a dreamer, that is true, but I also am not a quitter. I have always told my kids if you want something bad enough do not settle for one no, work until you know you have tried every possible solution, then you can accept no because you know you have given it EVERYTHING you had before accepting it. Kris

A great few days....

I have not posted since Christmas, I think I needed the few days off. It has been a great few days. Sometimes with mood disorders you are able to forget they exist if not for a day or two, at least for a few hours. Faith has felt really good. Maybe not totally good, but she seems to be handling the issues a lot better the last couple of days. We spent all day yesterday together, just me and her. We drove to Nashville, got lost for a while, and sold and bought some things off of Craigslist. For the first time in a long time we just got lost in conversation. Laughing and telling stories and asking questions. It was a great time. She is such a fighter. You could see her sometimes just sitting in the front seat and squeezing her hands as tightly as she could like she was about to punch someone. She never said nothing but you could see her fighting just to be able to enjoy the drive. Her skin seems to feel funny lately, maybe a side effect of the new medicine, and she puts lotion on a lot. She seems happier though, so it is one of the things we have to talk over with her, are the side effects worth the feeling better? Tough decisions for a ten year old to make, but she is mature enough and has experienced enough that she will be the only person making those decisions, not Renae or I. In this journey I want to share the happy stuff too. She has been laughing a lot more the last week or two. The meltdowns are down and I am hoping it is because of the new medicine. I know as she gets older she will be able to use tools to help so that she does not have to rely on medicines, but for now it is great to see my daughter laugh and play with her sisters. I can honestly say this has been one of the best holidays I have ever experienced. One because of my awesome family, two because of where I am in my life and maturity, and third because as I get older I am dealing with my own issues better and appreciating the little things in life better. Money does not buy happiness, freedom and a true since of appreciation, along with an unconditional love from your wife and kids has made me the happiest I have ever felt. Kris