Very proud...

This evening I had to break some tough news to Faith. We were not able to go to a retreat this weekend that she has been excited about for three weeks. The reason is not something I can tell her truthfully about, not something a 10 year old needs to know. I just wish I could tell people that when they make decisions that effect a family, they should think of the family members. It does not make it any better when it is a person who has never had to deal with a child who suffers from a mood disorder. People do not understand that when you make plans for three weeks and the day before you pull it out from under a 12, 10, and 5 year old it does have its consequences. She is handling it pretty well. Just a few tears, but the truth will come out tonight and tomorrow. Children are great about holding stuff in and then letting it all explode out without any warning or reason. She is doing well but now this, it is always something. I wish I could really explain what happens, but no one ever understands. Now I guess I cannot make plans with this kind of stuff in the future, and just surprise the kids. Oh wait I can't do that either. A child that has a very strict routine does not do good with surprises, those throw a curve ball into routines. Guess things like this are always going to be a no win situation. I am just proud of my daughter and how far she has come. Hope she gets through this weekend, I told the kids we will have a fun Saturday anyway, looks like it will be roller skating and a fancy dinner out. Kris

FAITH'S STORY

FAITH'S STORY: Our family's journey to raise awareness of Mood Disorders in children and psychiatric service dogs by sharing our daughter Faith's story. Our goal is to raise enough money to

2nd IEP meeting...

Today Renae and I met with administrators at Faith's school for the second meeting in her IEP. It was a great meeting. We went over the timelines remaining, assessments that need to be made, and how this process should continue and pan out. I left there feeling very comfortable with the staff working at the school and on our behalf. They seem to truely care about Faith and are passionate about finding what will be best for Faith and her getting an education. I think it is important to feel comfortable with those that we are working for. I also feel really good about the fact that we have met numerous people, mostly by them coming forward to us from this blog, who have been through an IEP and have offered to assist us in anything we may need through this. Just amazing. I am really grateful to have started this blog and began sharing our story. Faith is having a hard day. She just does not feel well. We noticed she has not slept well for the last two nights. It is as if there is a cycle that we cannot yet put our finger on. She felt bad enough that when we got to my mother's for our customary Tuesday night dinner, Faith decided she wanted to wait in the vehicle. That is so not like her. It came as a surprise to us, so we had no other option but to go inside and eat real quick and go back home. And as usual, no matter how she feels, the caring and compassionate side of her insisted that no one wait in the vehicle with her so that her Nana would not get her feelings hurt. Abbi ended up staying at Nana's for an hour or so and Nana just brought her home. Kris

Nice weekend...

I personally had a great weekend. Saturday Renae went out for some much needed "mom time". I got to spend the day with the girls, most of which ended up being me and Faith. We made cheese cake and cooked chicken pot pie from scratch. Faith has become quite passionate about her cooking. Sunday evening she made quesadillas. It was just a great weekend without much stress. There were a couple of times Faith was on the verge of melting down, but she was able to avoid it for one reason or another. Just a wonderful time around the house. It just amazes me how easy it is to forget the tough times while basking in the good. We also had some friends last week find out that their child was autistic. I was proud to know that they came to us for some guidance. Our neighbors have two children who are autistic. Their mom had no problem coming over yesterday evening and ensuring this young couple of all the help and resources out there and her and Renae went over the IEP that they unknowingly went through. By coming out and sharing our story, or should I say Faith's story, we are meeting great families that we otherwise would not get to know. I have to admit right now I am in a place in my life where I think I may be the happiest I have ever been. A lot of it has to do with the appreciation I have from all the lows I have experienced. I think those lows make just normal things in life feel like highs to me, which will make the highs feel like Mt. Everest hopefully. I am about to ramp up on the fund raising very soon, we are getting down to the last five or six months. Tess really wants to put together a benefit speed show, which are popular horse events for the 4H kids. This is going to be a lot of work but I want her to experience putting together something like this which was her idea and watch it become a reality. So hope everyone has a great week. Thanks for keeping up with this blog and don't be afraid to pass it on. Kris

A week...

It has been a week since I posted. I am done with my much needed rest and ready for the next stretch. We are approximately six months away from meeting Faith's new psychiatric service dog. I have only raised 30% of the funds, however I have learned so much and have raised way more awareness already than I could have imagined. So this new mission in life has begun successfully. Last Friday we had an appointment with Dr. Glasscock. It was a great appointment, we worked on the necessary paperwork to start the IEP process for Faith. Yesterday she was back there to do two hours worth of testing for him. We have a meeting with the school district next week and it will start the clock on us having a completed IEP within 45 days. I hope I said that correctly, just in case I will have Renae read this and I will repost corrections. We have started a new ritual at night to help the entire family. We eat dinner at six and shut down the house at 7pm. Faith reads stories to the family, I had to substitute one evening, but overall it has been a new great routine. Everyone has enjoyed the time together and it has helped Faith have a smooth transition to sleep. We still need a lot of work on our five year old Abbi. When all the tv's get turned off and it is time to settle down she takes on a mirror resemblance of her father and thinks that means it is time to entertain the household. If Tess has my obnoxious smarty pants personality (that is the best way to describe it) then Abbi has gotten my talk just to hear myself talk trait. The Forchione household resembles a comedy club most of the time, I just we could make a living selling tickets. So to sum it up, things are going well. Things are very busy and we struggle to stay on top of everything. I will start keeping up with this and thanks for your support! Kris

Great couple of days....

Our family had a wonderful dinner last night at Nana's house. It was great seeing all my girls laughing and playing together. Renae was watching a tv show last night, about children with bipolar, and it was terrible to watch. Seeing this kids having raging meltdowns, being teased at school, and hearing them be interviewed. I had to quit watching it. It seems when the times are tough I think they will never end, and when the times are good I really do block out those bad memories quite easily. I hate seeing kids suffer from mood disorders and people do not get it. My wife really pissed off the doctor the other night because she told her Faith would not being doing a blood work. The doctor just would not understand that last time we did blood work it took four adults to hold faith down. So she was pissy with Faith and Renae all night. Of course Renae waited until the next evening to tell me. I think she knew I would have went to visit the Doctor and told her how I feel. There are some things we just do not talk about in front of Faith. We all know what happened we just don't need to bring it up. I guess I need to carry a big sign with us where ever we go that says "my daughter suffers from a hidden disability, she looks normal on the outside, but she does not do everything like a child who does not suffer from this you IDIOT!!!!" kris

1st meeting with the school....

Yesterday morning we had our first meeting with Faith's school to update them and start an IEP with the school. I may be wrong on some of these terms so bear with me. An IEP is an Independent Education Plan. We initiated it yesterday so they have 45 days to get all the testing done and come up with a plan to ensure her needs are meet and she is successful in school. It was a wonderful meeting. The school district, or should I say Lincoln Elementary, is so supportive and their desire to help the children is very strong. We spent an hour an half going over her history, her current medical situation and what we both hope to achieve with her future education. All of this is a huge learning curve for the both of us. In the Army Faith is registered in the EFMP(exceptional family member program)and they assist us in ensuring she gets the medical attention and support she needs, they will also help us with this IEP. As I say all along there is so much help out there available to us parents and our children, it just seems to take a lot of energy and hard work to find it. Renae just showed me some issues she has found on the initial paperwork that we already need to address. It is going to be a lot of work and information in a short period of time, so we have to really work together on this. I will keep everyone posted on this entire IEP thing. We know a little of it since Renae assisted her sister in doing one for her son a couple years ago. We know Faith really wants to get back in school, however we know and her doctor knows it will take some special help to get her over this. We still battle every day with her not feeling good. She still hurts and "does not feel good", which tends to lead her to stressing out and melting down. Now I am hearing Abbi say it is not fair because she does not feel good and wants to get the same treatment Faith is getting right now. I swear if you think having a child with some specials needs, imagine trying to keep a five year old from acting, saying, and behaving the same way. That in itself is a challenge. It just seems that all of it tied together, added to normal life is so much. Not complaining at all, when it's your child there is nothing you wouldn't do, I just really want to help everyone understand the other side of Mood Disorders that people outside of our house do not see. Kris

Visit with Neurologist....

The visit today went great. The doctor said what Faith is dealing with is certainly a brain issue, however what he is able to test, detect, and treat is bigger than what she suffers from. Basically what he said is Mood Disorders (bi-polar, ADHD, ADD) are smaller issues that are better dealt with at the psychiatrist and psychologist level. He did some tests and basically was able to rule out her need for a Neurologist at this time. That is great news for us. She seems to be doing well right now. She has started clinching her fist all the time now. We are not sure if it is a side effect of medicines or not. It is nice to be able to check off one more thing to ensure we are doing everything possible to help her. I never want to look back and know that there was something else I could have done to help her. Just like I told the doctor, and he agreed, we must try everything. Kris

Vanderbilt entrance...

Pretty girl and statue

Playing UNO in waiting room

Vanderbilt....

At vanderbilt childrens hospital waiting to be seen by a neurologist.

Great Doctor visit....

Yesterday Faith and Renae visited her new doctor, it was a great visit. We kept her medicine at its current dose and as long as things go good over the next couple weeks we will not go back for three weeks. Faith has been doing great. She can still snap, but yet we are not having to go on drives in the evenings, we are not having meltdowns at night. As a matter of fact last night we were laying upstairs watching The Middle and she was laughing so hard and so loud, something I have missed hearing in a long time. I came home last night from work and she had a whole bunch of recipes organized on the coffee table. This is her new passion, she has always enjoyed cooking, but she is really passionate. This Saturday she has planned a huge dinner with a dessert. She went through her closet yesterday and donated all her clothes that no longer fit. This may seem like not a big deal, but to her it is HUGE. The day before yesterday she watched a movie marathon on television, twelve hours, again not a big deal to some people, but huge for her. Probably the most noticeable thing to me is her impulsive actions, she still does them, but she is able to stop a lot of times and retract her behavior before it is complete. I am most proud of her being able to express her feelings. She has always been remorseful of her behavior, however she has matured enough to say "what you are doing is really making me mad, please stop". I just have to figure out a way to get her to walk away and leave the room. (ha,ha) But I am just so thankful that she is not crying half the day and screaming about how miserable she is. I know it has only been a couple of weeks, but it is these little steps that turn into long walks, that eventually lead to cresting the top of a mountain and enjoying the beautiful view below. Kris

A great weekend...

I did not want to jinx our good fortunes or Faith's. We have had a great couple days. I have noticed Faith's ability to stop herself before going into a meltdown. To be honest she has even transitioned pretty good in the evening. We still seem to walk around on egg shells but maybe we are turning a corner on this issue. We have an appointment in Nashville this week at Vanderbilt University with a neurologist, we just want to rule out all possibilities. It has taken us a long time to get this referral, not because the doctors did not want to refer her, but because the waiting list is over a year. I will keep you posted on how it goes. I will also keep you posted on how she does of course. We also are going to start working this week on her IEP to figure out how we are going to get her into the new school. Hopefully we can get the correct paperwork done so that the school district will pay for her to go to it. However, if that is going to take six months I hope to figure out a way to get her into this private school. Between the service dog, military pay, Renae not working, and the cost of the school, that will be a tough thing to do. I believe so it shall happen somehow. Renae has always said I am a dreamer, that is true, but I also am not a quitter. I have always told my kids if you want something bad enough do not settle for one no, work until you know you have tried every possible solution, then you can accept no because you know you have given it EVERYTHING you had before accepting it. Kris

A great few days....

I have not posted since Christmas, I think I needed the few days off. It has been a great few days. Sometimes with mood disorders you are able to forget they exist if not for a day or two, at least for a few hours. Faith has felt really good. Maybe not totally good, but she seems to be handling the issues a lot better the last couple of days. We spent all day yesterday together, just me and her. We drove to Nashville, got lost for a while, and sold and bought some things off of Craigslist. For the first time in a long time we just got lost in conversation. Laughing and telling stories and asking questions. It was a great time. She is such a fighter. You could see her sometimes just sitting in the front seat and squeezing her hands as tightly as she could like she was about to punch someone. She never said nothing but you could see her fighting just to be able to enjoy the drive. Her skin seems to feel funny lately, maybe a side effect of the new medicine, and she puts lotion on a lot. She seems happier though, so it is one of the things we have to talk over with her, are the side effects worth the feeling better? Tough decisions for a ten year old to make, but she is mature enough and has experienced enough that she will be the only person making those decisions, not Renae or I. In this journey I want to share the happy stuff too. She has been laughing a lot more the last week or two. The meltdowns are down and I am hoping it is because of the new medicine. I know as she gets older she will be able to use tools to help so that she does not have to rely on medicines, but for now it is great to see my daughter laugh and play with her sisters. I can honestly say this has been one of the best holidays I have ever experienced. One because of my awesome family, two because of where I am in my life and maturity, and third because as I get older I am dealing with my own issues better and appreciating the little things in life better. Money does not buy happiness, freedom and a true since of appreciation, along with an unconditional love from your wife and kids has made me the happiest I have ever felt. Kris