Monday Blues

It was a beautiful weekend here in Kentucky. The kids played outside from sunup to sundown, all in perfect fall weather. Today started a new week, the kids went back to school. Faith was unable to go. She was terrified that she would have these "demon feelings" while at school like she has had the last week. Well she knew something was coming that we did not. I got a call from Renae around 3pm at work and she asked me to come home. Faith had locked her and the girls out of the house and was running around inside screaming and throwing stuff. Her screaming and rage continued until around 6:30 pm until she was so exhausted she decided to go to bed. These are normally things that we do not share. These episodes are scary for us and very embarrassing for Faith. All three of us have decided that it is necessary to share these things as they happen so that people who do not live with these "hidden disabilities" can try to understand why our kids do not go to school, or why we might come to work with a huge bite mark on us, or why we cannot make it to the barn in the evening because I cannot leave Renae alone at home for fear of her getting hurt. It is also important that people understand the impact it can and does have on the other family members. A long forgotten rule of life is that family is there for you no matter what through thick and thin. I guess with today's society, just like in divorce, it is easier to just turn the other way and walk away. We have made a promise to Faith that we will never do that, although sometimes it can be the hardest thing in the world to keep this promise. And at what extent do you keep it? What happens when she grows up more and me nor Renae can protect her from herself. One thing I found ironic today was again she showed me her love of animals. She was definitely throwing and kicking things through one of her venting sessions, and one of the dogs came towards her.....she looked and it and calmed just for a second to allow it to pass...and then carried on. She can be so angry at the world for this stuff that goes on in her mind and yet she won't even kill an ant. Well we will keep you posted. We are hoping to take a tour of The Brook, a hospital in Louisville, KY. They have the opening for Faith next month, we just hope we can help her hold out long enough for that opening.